Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Wednesday Addams Quotes

Heather: [first nanny] Children, as your new nanny, I know we're all concerned about the environment. So, this morning, let's discuss how to prevent forest fires.
Wednesday: Prevent them?
[lights a match]
Mrs. Montgomery: [second nanny] Alright children, I've had it up to here. Now you just answer one simple question. Where is that baby?
Wednesday: Which part?
Polly/Nanny: [third nanny; holding up a puppet] Hello kiddies, I'm Polly the Puppet. What shall we do today? I know! Let's all clean our rooms!
Wednesday: [holding up devil puppet] Hello Polly, I'll clean my room. In exchange for your immortal soul

Morticia: Wednesday's at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind.
Ellen: Boys?
Wednesday: Homicide.

Joel: Poor Debbie. She was sick.
Wednesday: She wasn't sick. She was sloppy
Joel: What do you mean?
Wednesday: If I wanted to kill my husband, I'd do it and I wouldn't get caught.
Joel: How?
Wednesday: I'd scare him to death.
Joel: No, you wouldn't. We're all very sorry, Debbie. We wish you only the best.

Wednesday: [giving a funeral to a cat in a shoe-box] Come, sorrow; we welcome thee. Let us join in grief, rejoice in despair, and honor the fortunate dead.
Grandma: Dearly beloved...
Wednesday: [the cat mews and Wednesday shakes the box] Shh! Quiet!
Grandma: [starts piling dirt on the box]

Wednesday: [to Pugsley] Death! Death to the enemies of the people of the Republic. Hurrah! Justice is served. Bring forward the evil one.

Joel: Wednesday, do you think that maybe someday you might want to get married and have kids?
Wednesday: No.
Joel: But what if you met the right man, who worshiped and adored you? Who'd do anything for you? Who'd be your devoted slave? Then what would you do?
Wednesday: I'd pity him.

These are from Addams Family Values

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